Empty Sink

I have always tried to be more "Glass half full" than the alternative. Because... Why not?

The past two weeks have been very much full of the alternative. WHY DO I SUCK AT ADJUSTING?

As I mentioned many weeks ago.. September marked the beginning of a lot of new things.

1. New Apartment
2. New School
3. New Schedule


So.. Here's the update:

1. New Apartment: Awesome. I love it. I love having my own space. I love my roommates. I love having the freedom. Also, I love having a cat. Devo lived with the family, but she's so much more fun now that she's just mine. She really gets excited when I get home, she bugs me for food, she is mine now.

2. New School: Not Awesome. It's huge. My classes are spread across both East Bank and West Bank and St. Paul Campus. I hate it. I don't like being a number. I don't like feeling so... lost and so.. lonely. Not to be melodramatic.. because really.. it's not like it matters.. but it's kinda depressing realizing I have no friends and I don't have time to make any either.

3. New Schedule. I have classes Monday, Tuesday, Thursday. I work Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Sunday. I have no time to relax. I haven't done laundry... in 22 days. I'm tired. I'm drained. I am an empty sink.


Everyone keeps telling me one of two things.
First: This was your stupid decision.. Suck it up and live with it.
Second: You need to give it more time.

My responses:
First: Thank you. Thank you so much for pointing out something I'm well aware of. Leaving Duluth wasn't an easy decision. It wasn't a simple decision... it was hard. It was painful leaving behind my home and my friends.. and I am living with it. I am also very happy knownig that because I made that decision-- I have an apartment, I have my roommates who are becoming my very good friends, and I got to save my kitty from being given away.
Second: I don't want to. I want it to be perfect now. I want to be doing well, handling school and work, and seeing my family and Jordan on a regular basis without sacrificing sleep time. Also, DUH. I'm not complaining because I'm giving up. That isn't an option.


So, for now, I'm an empty sink. I'm tired. I'm drained. I break down randomly and wish I could quit... But, then I pick myself up and keep going because.. I refuse to fail. So.. I may be an empty sink.. but I'm not a leaky sink..

My metaphor was as tired as I am...

Always,
H.Eilene