WHO KNOWS?

When I was a little kid, I wanted to be two things: A Microbiologist (because I wanted to cure cancer)
An Author

I got older and realized the likelihood of either of those dreams coming true was slim. Biology was actually an okay dream to reach for, but being the ONE to cure all of cancer.. I just never felt like that would be achievable. Besides, I grew up and realized that cancer wasn't like the chicken pox or a cold. There are so many different types, that find THE cure.. was impossible because there can't be just one. Becoming an author is also not completely un-reachable. Becoming an author who ONLY writes.. now that is something I know will be extremely difficult. It's something I have been told time and time again to put on the back burner so that I can have a "real" job. 


I have friends who have known their career goals since as far back as they can remember. Not only are the achievable, but they are already achieving them. It makes me more anxious every time I think about it. JT looked at me the other night when I was complaining about having no idea what I want to do with my life... and laughed. "H, you're almost done with college. You're going to graduate early. It doesn't matter what you want to do.. you're already working hard and doing something" (I'm paraphrasing.. it was like 3AM, so my memory is less reliable).

Yes. I'm graduating soon. I took 4 semesters of 20+ credits. When I transferred to the U, I already had 86 credits. All of which transferred over and counted towards my major. This semester, I took 15. Theoretically speaking, I have 19 credits until I hit the "120" benchmark that says I should be done.  Granted, I have another semester regardless because I have to finish my senior seminar and senior project.

I said this to him, and I'm saying it here... GRADUATING WITH A DEGREE DOESN'T MEAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!

I will graduate. Be tens of thousands of dollars in debt. And continue working at Starbucks and Now Boarding.

I wish I had been one of those kids who wanted to be something that made sense.. like a Doctor, Nurse, Teacher, Secretary, Scientist. Anything.

Instead, who knows where I'm gonna end up? I don't know about you.. but that's not very settling.

-H.Eilene