Being The Change I Need.

Hello!

As many of my friends have known for awhile, I was very unhappy as a Preschool Teacher. Between the frustration over the under-staffing, being over-ratio, and overall disliking the way my particular site was being run, it just wasn't a good fit. I stuck with it for almost 2 years, but finally the match was lit. I finally had a good enough reason to quit.

My reason was so good in fact, that circumstances led to my leaving without notice. Unfortunately, that meant I didn't get to say goodbye to the families of my students, I didn't apologize to them for leaving, and I didn't get to say goodbye to the few students who had been there as long as I had.

If any parents of my students stumble upon this page, I am so very sorry for leaving so suddenly. I am so very sorry for abandoning your beautiful, amazing children. I already miss them so much it hurts. I wish it hadn't come to this.

To my friends and my wonderful boyfriend, my leaving the preschool has come as a relief. There are no more fits of rage following a shift. There are no more tears in relation to my frustration. There  are no more days where I have to feel like I'm failing the kids. There are no more days where I feel like our site is failing the kids. It's over.

I can finally breathe a sigh of relief.

Unfortunately, I know that those kids are still there. I know that they are not getting every ounce of care they deserve. For that reason, I pray for each and every one of them.

A few weeks ago, when I had been getting to my limit of frustration with the daycare, I decided to start applying for other jobs. I knew I would have Starbucks, but I wasn't so sure that I wanted to risk running into scheduling issues and being unable to pay my rent.

I applied for a job at a Dog/Cat/Critter Boarding Center. Pets are way more enjoyable than children... I don't think I'll feel so pressured to be perfect. A dog isn't going to care if I'm not able to fix every tiny little crisis. A dog doesn't have to learn the skills on the Kindergarten readiness list, and they're  entire future doesn't solely rest on my shoulders.

I get to play with dogs and cats. I get to feed them. I get to clean up after them.

Not always clean. Not always fun and cheerful.

But, I will actually enjoy going to work.

And I needed that.

H.Eilene