Did you know?

There is a subreddit for writers that is for different kinds of writing prompts. Ready..Setty...Write!!

PROMPTS HERE
New goal: Write a short story using a prompt each week.
This week's is the following:

The sky is falling, and you're an old man.

Always, H.Eilene

PS I'd love to read if you feel compelled to write a story based on it. It's a good distraction.

Answered Prayers!!

CLICK HERE

Okay. 
So, click the link above after you read this post. 

A few months ago, my friend Bethanie came into ASL looking rather distraught. When she explained to me what was going on, I promised her I would pray my hardest. I asked a few of my friends to send up prayers as well, because.. well, because it didn't look good for her friend. 

Later that class period she received a call that he was going into an emergency surgery, she ran up to our professor and signed that she needed to leave immediately, forgetting that she had already asked me to give her a ride to her car because it was far away from our building. I ran out after her and drove her to her car, where she found her keys locked inside... so I drove her to her house where they were all meeting to go together to the hospital. 

That was back in October. 

Now, they finally know what caused Nick to get so sick, and thankfully, he's getting better. 

Now... go back and click that link. Read Nick's story. 

And then thank God and all the doctors who helped figure out what was killing him. This exciting and wonderful news was exactly what I needed today! 

Always, H.Eilene

Broken Up not Broken

Thank you Facebook. Just kidding. I kind of dislike Facebook today. Well, today is okay. Yesterday. Facebook has this lousy habit of telling people your business.. like when your relationship status changes before you have a chance to make it private... so your phone starts blasting with messages from all the people who you don't ACTUALLY want to talk to about your break up. I don't mean to sound rude, but really.. fifty messages asking if you're okay or if you need to/want to talk aren't what you want when something happens.

However, for the people I ignored and deleted messages from.. I'm okay. In fact, I think I can actually say that I'm okay and mean it. I'm sad, yes. But I'm happy that we ended as friends and not in a huge fight screaming. I'm glad we didn't lose our almost- 5 years of being friends.

That being said, No. I don't want to talk. But, I'm not broken. My relationship with J wasn't my whole life. I have a job, I have school, I have friends (most of them are long distance friends.. but still). I am a person.. I have always been a person, an individual person outside of being a girlfriend. I'm sad, because I care so very much about him, but really it wasn't his decision. It was mutual. Honestly. We both saw it coming, we both knew things had been off for quite awhile. It was just a matter of finally admitting it and calling TOD.

I'm happy to move forward. I'm excited to focus more energy on GRADUATING IN DECEMBER! WOOOOHOO!

But seriously, don't worry.

Always (AND STILL) H.Eilene

Epic Roommates of Awesomeness

YUM. Our male roommate Jeremy went out to the Buzz (a coffeeshop in Burnsville) to retrieve cold press for us this morning :)  Rockstar Roommate award goes to him today.


Yesterday, I went to the zoo and was greeted by this fellow. We both turned the corner at the same time.. we also both jump and were scared. He however, licked his lips as though I was a tasty treat for lunch.. Jerk. just kidding. I love him. He's handsome and so beautiful.

Taken Aback.

Dear Random Bus-Rider,
1. It was incredibly rude of you to grab my arm, rather abrasively, and accuse me of being one of the millions of selfish and horrible people who surrender themselves to God. 
2. I hope you feel satisfied, that while you were holding onto my arm the entire bus-full of people watched you yell at a Christian who stood there quietly taking in your words about hate and discrimination. 

I realize the angry person on the bus won't get to read this, but I have to let off my steam. It really erk-ed me. I'm standing, holding onto the rail on a campus connector on my way to ASL, and this girl grabs my arm and demands to know what my tattoo says. My wrist was barely uncovered. It was a warm day, so I had my sweatshirt pushed up part way up my forearm.. but.. let's be real here, we were on a college campus, at least fifteen other people on the rather full connector had exposed tattoos. 

I don't know who ticked off this girl, nor do I know what they said to make her hate everyone in the world who identifies as a Christian.. but I didn't personally say a single word to her prior to her grabbing hold of me, and even when I finally did speak.. it definitely wasn't anything that would make her hate Christians more. She demanded I tell her what it meant, so I did. I also asked her to please let go. My hand was tingling she was gripping it so tightly. She didn't, she just went off on me. Screaming. On a bus. 

I'm not a fan of big scenes, and I had a test to get to. So when she finished yelling, I told her I was very sorry she felt that way, and that I wish she'd please let go. I told her I would cover my tattoo if it would make her feel better, but that I really hadn't meant to offend her. 

It was really interesting being the day after Ash Wednesday. The start of Lent. I kept thinking to what the priest said at mass. The readings talked about how we should pray in private, instead of out on the street corners.. how we should be giving alms not for the approval of others, but to strengthen our own personal relationships with Christ.. And basically what it came down to was how it almost seemed a little ridiculous that we were going to be marked with the ashes because it was as if we were going out into the world shouting loud and proud "HEY LOOK AT ME, I'M CATHOLIC." 

It seems as though it is directly contradicting what we read.. but it's not. We don't go out into the world wearing the ashes trying to call attention to how awesome we are.. we're calling attention to the beautiful mercy of God. It has nothing to do with us. 

I explained a similar reason for getting my tattoo in a post right after I got it.. 

It doesn't serve as a stamp of my religion to label me. It reminds me how beautiful and strong God's love is. How beautiful his mercy looks on me. I don't mean that in a conceited kind of way. I mean it in the sense that I am thirty times more confident when I remember He is watching over me. When I remember that I can make a mess of myself a thousand times over and I will always have His love, it takes away the fear I have of falling to pieces. 

So, I let her have her yell. I have a policy when it comes to angry people. I let them be mad, I let them scream. I get it. I get being so angry about something that you just need to yell at somebody. I also get that I didn't do anything to this person. I didn't roll up my sleeve and shove my arm in her face. I didn't start throwing out Bible verses at her. I wasn't doing anything. I was riding the bus. Clearly, she needed a yell. I'm glad I could help her, even if it was a little out of place. 

I'm just going to put it out there.. if you ever need to talk, or yell, just call me. Or ask me. Please don't just grab onto my wrist and squeeze until my fingers go numb. I'd be happy to sit down with you and have coffee and let you air out your grievances.. really. 

My Inspiration for Smiles Today

I'm hoping for sunshine, warm air, and the beautiful rushing water of the Brule River... sometime in my near future.

My Inspiration for Positivity.
H.Eilene

"Sensitive" and "Caring"

Sensitive and Caring. My two biggest strengths. I am a sensitive person, I am capable of emotions. I feel things very deeply, and I take everything to heart. And, I care. I care about people, I care about my job, I care about relationships... I care so deeply that I don't walk away. I don't give up on things.. I care so much that it becomes one of my biggest downfalls. I admit that. I admit that I care too much and I can be too sensitive... BUT that doesn't mean I am willing to stop being caring or sensitive. 

I am also extremely self conscious. I don't like very many things about myself. I don't think of myself as pretty, I don't think I'm very intelligent, I get mediocre grades, I'm not confident.. except when I'm at Starbucks.. because for some reason.. that's the one place where I actually feel like I know something... I'm overly anxious, obsessive compulsive, and I'm generally not sure of anything. 

So.. if you don't feel pretty, smart, confident or capable... or anything positive.. waking up and looking at yourself in the mirror is hard. Waking up and functioning.. is hard. 

So, you find things about yourself you do like. I found mine. I'm sensitive and caring. I'm also patient, but honestly it ties with both of those. I am sensitive to how others feel.. which translates to being patient with how others choose to deal with their feelings... I care about relationships and people.. so I'm patient and keep pushing forward, I keep trying.. even when everyone tells me I should stop. 

But, I'm sensitive. I care. Those are my two good things. My two positive things. The two things I know about myself that let me feel good about myself. Why would you try to take them from me?? Why would you turn them into insults? 

"God Hannah, Stop being so sensitive"
"It was just a joke, don't be so sensitive"
"You care too much. Stop"
"Why you do even bother with...(such and such)... you should just give up. Obviously it isn't working" 

I am not going through and telling you how I feel because I want your pity. I am not unhealthy, I don't want to give up on life or the world or anything.. Remember? I care too much to give up trying. I've dreamed about my future too much to not work my butt off to get there.. But.. Seriously? Pay attention. While you may not realize it.. You're cutting down one or two of the only things that I actually feel awesome about. It hurts. You can continue hurting me, and doing it.. but this is my passive-aggressive way of telling you (plural).. It hurts. Stop. Realize how much I care about you.. so much so that I won't just walk away from you when you cut me down. I care too much to hate you or get mad. I just get hurt, and I cry, because I'm sensitive. 

Always,
Me.