Children and Animals.. basically the same thing right?

I'm considering a change in career.

Not.. like.. my real life career after college.. Nope.. Still hanging on to my English and Geography roots. I'm talking about the "put me through college/pays for my food" career.

As you know (I hope) I teach preschool. I work at a daycare and am in charge of a rowdy little bunch of munchkins who clobber me with hugs and snuggles when I walk in the door. I love them to death. They're great, but I'm growing tired of the other side of the job.. the whole.. dealing with other teachers and butting heads with my boss side of things.

Long story short, I disagree with decisions and actions taken by some of the staff and I feel strongly that I no longer am comfortable working there.. Not to mention, I'm watching all of the families whom I've fallen in love with leave. It's heartbreaking to continue to say goodbye to the families who have been there since I started, and amazing to see how many others who haven't been there that long leave. It's a bit of a sign that I need to get the heck outta there.

I applied to work at a boarding center for cats and dogs. I love cats and dogs, and I mean, they're as snuggly (if not a little more) than kids, plus, I'm hoping there will be less frustration than in my current location. I'm going to be sad, really really sad, to say goodbye to all my kids and the classroom I've made my home.. But I can't imagine moving on will be worse than staying where I'm at.

Always,
H.Eilene

Empty Sink

I have always tried to be more "Glass half full" than the alternative. Because... Why not?

The past two weeks have been very much full of the alternative. WHY DO I SUCK AT ADJUSTING?

As I mentioned many weeks ago.. September marked the beginning of a lot of new things.

1. New Apartment
2. New School
3. New Schedule


So.. Here's the update:

1. New Apartment: Awesome. I love it. I love having my own space. I love my roommates. I love having the freedom. Also, I love having a cat. Devo lived with the family, but she's so much more fun now that she's just mine. She really gets excited when I get home, she bugs me for food, she is mine now.

2. New School: Not Awesome. It's huge. My classes are spread across both East Bank and West Bank and St. Paul Campus. I hate it. I don't like being a number. I don't like feeling so... lost and so.. lonely. Not to be melodramatic.. because really.. it's not like it matters.. but it's kinda depressing realizing I have no friends and I don't have time to make any either.

3. New Schedule. I have classes Monday, Tuesday, Thursday. I work Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Sunday. I have no time to relax. I haven't done laundry... in 22 days. I'm tired. I'm drained. I am an empty sink.


Everyone keeps telling me one of two things.
First: This was your stupid decision.. Suck it up and live with it.
Second: You need to give it more time.

My responses:
First: Thank you. Thank you so much for pointing out something I'm well aware of. Leaving Duluth wasn't an easy decision. It wasn't a simple decision... it was hard. It was painful leaving behind my home and my friends.. and I am living with it. I am also very happy knownig that because I made that decision-- I have an apartment, I have my roommates who are becoming my very good friends, and I got to save my kitty from being given away.
Second: I don't want to. I want it to be perfect now. I want to be doing well, handling school and work, and seeing my family and Jordan on a regular basis without sacrificing sleep time. Also, DUH. I'm not complaining because I'm giving up. That isn't an option.


So, for now, I'm an empty sink. I'm tired. I'm drained. I break down randomly and wish I could quit... But, then I pick myself up and keep going because.. I refuse to fail. So.. I may be an empty sink.. but I'm not a leaky sink..

My metaphor was as tired as I am...

Always,
H.Eilene